Is a life at stake?
If the woman tells you, that she is afraid for her life, there is a great need for qualified counselling and support. Speak to her about her family background. Ask whether hers is a very traditional family or a more liberal one? Ask the woman how her family normally reacts if a family member steps out of line. I have met women with stories of honour killings within their immediate family. Their fears may be well-founded. Others have tales of various social sanctions and increased control. All these things are indicative of what a woman actually has to fear if her family learn of the missing hymen.In my experience, a missing hymen does not normally equal death-threats. Keeping in mind that only one in five women bleed at first intercourse, there must be a large majority of women, who do not bleed on their wedding night despite being pure as the fallen snow. The trick then, is to find out which women are in real danger.
These are complicated social cases, perhaps the police needs to be involved. Whatever the case, hymen surgery is outright unethical. After the operation these women are returned to the people who threaten their lives, "good as new". Family pressure and social control persist. It is difficult to imagine young ethnic Danes whose lives are threatened being fobbed off with a surgical procedure!
