"I am a Muslim girl due to be married next year. Last year I was in a steady relation­ship and we had sex without considering the consequences. Now I'm terrified that my husband will find out once we're married, and I worry that my parents will know. I feel terrible, and I really, really regret it. I simply don't know where to turn. How much does it cost? Will it leave a paper-trail for my parents to follow? How long does it take? I hope you can help me, it would mean everything to me.

Thanks in advance!

Answer::
Reconstructive hymen surgery is a minor procedure performed by some gynae­cologists and plastic surgeons. I myself have performed quite a number of these procedures. I charge 4.500 DKK in cash, and you can book an appointment by calling XX XX XX XX. The pro­cedure is carried out under local anaesthetic.

Kind regards

NN"

One popular Danish website features an agony column with a surgeon in private practice offering "counselling". The price has since gone up to 6.000 DKK.

The Operation

I have often spoken to women, who say that they prefer an operation to producing blood using the pill. They think surgery will give them "a real one". This is wrong. Surgery does not provide you with a new hymen.

The surgeon places a few stitches in the vagina. This produces a narrowing of the vaginal passage that bleeds when the stitches burst or yield. If there is anything left of the original hymen - assuming the woman ever had one - the edges are sewn together. The blood produced by an operation is no more a hymen than the blood that can be produced by other means.

When surgeons speak of providing a new hymen, whether they do so online or in the media, this is quite simply untrue. It is not possible to provide a woman with a new hymen.

You need to be very careful when searching the internet for information on this procedure. There is a great deal of misinformation, even on sites written by professionals. For instance several sites describe the hymen as covering the entrance to the vagina and causing the woman to bleed at first intercourse, neither of which is correct. Why - not?

I have contacted these sites, and have been assured that the information will be corrected. Yet there is still a great deal of misinformation on this topic, much of which is due to prejudice. If you find yourself in a crisis, you are vulnerable, and may be inclined to believe that an operation will solve all your problems. You may not be in a position to double-check you information.

The golden rule is, that if the person providing you with advice will be earning money from the solution he or she proposes, then it is unlikely that you are receiving balanced counselling. For instance I would advise against seeking advice from surgeons in private practice, since they are likely to refer you to their own clinic. Seek out more neutral professionals, who have no financial interest in your choice.